The Art of Negotiating — For IT Professionals
We are all negotiators.
All day, every day, we are in the midst of negotiations — whether we know it or not.
Just think about it, we are continuously interacting with people, trying to sway their opinion to see things our way.
- With our partner, or significant other — Where should we go for dinner?
- With our children — You need to improve your grades.
- With our friends — What should we do tonight?
- With our boss — I think I deserve a raise.
Our life is a constant negotiation. As IT Professionals, we are no different. As a matter of fact we have our own unique set of negotiation partners: vendors, suppliers, co-workers, employees, and employers.
With so much time spent in negotiation, it is well worth our time to learn the principles behind negotiation, and how to become better negotiators. With that thought in mind, I did what I usually do; I set out to find a book to help me learn more about negotiating. What I found was the classic book on negotiation, Getting to Yes, by Roger Fisher and William Ury. If you want to improve your negotiation skills, you can’t go wrong with this book.
Originally published in 1981, this book was a product of the Harvard Negotiation Group. It offers a detailed process for coming to mutually acceptable agreements at all levels of negotiation and conflict resolution. The processes and principles laid out in the book can help you become a more effective negotiator, in both your personal and professional life. For IT professionals, following the practical advice from this book will make you much more effective at a very critical facet of your career – negotiating.
The book does not teach dirty tricks, mind games, or heavy-handed tactics to win negotiations. Instead, it focuses on a highly ethical “win-win” form of negotiation called “principled negotiation.”
Principled Negotiation – To decide issues based on their merits rather than through a haggling process focused on what each side says it will and won’t do. It suggests you look for mutual gains whenever possible, and that where your interests conflict, you should insist that the result be based on some fair standards independent of the will or either side.
Prior to reading this book, when I heard the word “negotiation”, I thought of a roll up your sleeves, start haggling, dig in your heals, I win, you lose, zero sum gain process. It was refreshing to learn that negotiation doesn’t have to be this way at all. In fact, it can be the exact opposite. If done correctly, negotiation can help build trust and allow both “sides” of the negotiation table to come away feeling as though they “won” in some way, shape, or form. Or at least without a feeling they “lost”. Negotiation can be a principled, human process.
Another great takeaway is that negotiation is a skill that can be improved upon, like any other skill. I never thought of myself as a particularly great negotiator, but with the principles and tactics I learned in this great book, I feel more confident in my negotiating skills.
Here are a handful of negotiating, tips, tricks, and tactics from Getting To Yes that can help you become a better negotiator.
Separate People from the Problem
At the beginning of each negotiation, remind yourself that these are real people you are negotiating with. They are not much different from you. They deserve your respect and empathy, the same as you deserve theirs.
Be human first. Get to know the people or person you are negotiating with personally. Give them the opportunity to know you. Negotiations will be more civil, and go more smoothly, if each party takes some time to get to know the other a little better.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes
You have your goals for the negotiation, so does the other party. Take time to clearly understand not only WHAT they are trying to achieve, but WHY they are trying to achieve it. From there, you can develop some empathy and see things from their perspective. Don’t focus only on your goals.
Listen to what they are saying. Listening is one of the most critical traits for a good negotiator. Once you have listened and learned their goals, you can include their interests in your proposal. Looking for opportunities for mutual gain will leave the other side feeling satisfied and increase the chances of your proposal being accepted.
For example: Say you are negotiating pricing for a new Internet circuit with a provider. You make conversation with the rep and hear that they have a sales goal for the quarter that is ending soon. Your goal is to make sure the monthly cost for the circuit comes in under a certain figure. You can use your knowledge of your rep’s goal to put together a win/win proposal: “If you can get the monthly cost down to $X. and waive the installation fee, then I can sign a contract by March 31st.” You have now offered a proposal that keeps the rep’s goals in consideration and increases the chances of agreement.
Don’t Deduce Their Intentions From Your Fears
If you go into a negotiation with a fear that the other side is “trying to screw you over”, then everything they do will be seen as an attempt to screw you over. The intentions of the other party depend on the prism from which they are viewed. If you are fearful of what might happen, then you are viewing negotiations with the eyes of fear.
Don’t approach the negotiation from what you are “afraid” may happen. Again, taking time to know the other party, and putting yourself in their shoes, helps to remove fear. You are not guessing at intentions and coming to incorrect conclusions. You can know view the negotiation through the prism of understanding.
Using the Internet circuit negotiation example above; if you enter the negotiation with the fear that you will be taken advantage of, then any proposal the representative makes will seem unfair. “Oh, they gave me a proposal that they are saying has to be signed by March 31st. They are trying to pressure me into signing an unfair agreement.” Knowing that they have a sales quota to meet helps you understand they are not trying to be unfair, they are simply trying to satisfy what is most important to them (meeting their quota). You can leverage this knowledge to your advantage.
Use Negotiation Jujitsu
Sometimes the other side will take a firm stance on their position, or they might flat out reject your proposal. When this happens, the natural tendency may be to go into attack mode. You may start making statements about why they are being unreasonable, or criticizing their stance. And ,of course, once one side goes into attack mode, the other side will go into defense mode, digging in their heels to defend their stance. This just causes a cycle of action and reaction, and negotiations may grind to a halt.
When the other side takes a firm stance, instead of going into attack mode, try using Negotiation Jujitsu. Instead of butting heads, sidestep and use deft maneuvers to turn negotiations in your favor. There are a few negotiation jujitsu maneuvers available to you.
- Ask questions instead of making statements — Asking questions makes the other side explain their stance instead of digging in.
- Use Silence — If the other side makes a statement criticizing your proposal, don’t give into the urge to rebuke their statement. Remain silent and let them fill in the uncomfortable silence explaining their stance.
- Time is Your Friend — This can be especially useful in non-face to face negotiations with some kind of time deadline. If your proposal is not accepted…just wait. This is particularly effective if time is a greater pressure to the other side. The closer you get to a deadline, the greater the flexibility.
Returning to our example: The rep for the Internet circuit provider has proposed a monthly rate of $X, if you sign by 3/31/20. You counter that proposal with a monthly rate of $Y. The rep digs in their heels and won’t budge on their proposal. Don’t go into attack mode. Because you took the time earlier in negotiations to understand their goals, you know they have a sales goal to hit by 3/31/20. Use can use the negotiation jujitsu maneuver of time to your advantage. Just wait, and see how their flexibility increases the closer you get to March 31st.
Know Your BATNA
In any negotiation, you typically will have your “bottom line”, or the lowest point you are willing to go to before you settle on a proposal. But bottom lines can tend to be negative, or the worst case scenario. Instead, focus on creating desirable alternatives in case your best case scenario doesn’t play out. In other words, develop your BATNA.
BATNA stands for “Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement”. It is the best possible option if you are not able to successfully negotiate an agreement. You never want to have all your eggs in one basket in any negotiation. This puts you in the position of having to settle for your bottom line, or even worse, failing to reach a negotiated agreement and being put in a bad position. Make sure you are taking time to explore options should you not be able to reach agreement in a negotiation.
In our Internet circuit example; you knew the current agreement with your provider was about to term. Even though your preference might be to stay with your current provider (you may have a good relationship, service may be reliable, you may not want to interrupt service), you do your due diligence and get proposals from other providers. The pricing on one of the proposals is better than your current pricing.
Ok, good, you have your BATNA. Now you can go into negotiations with your current provider with a solid alternative on the table in case you are not able to negotiate better pricing.
Anticipate the Potential for Conflict
Some negotiations are quick and painless. You want Sushi for dinner, your partner wants to try the new Pho place. Ok, Pho sounds good, let’s go there. Negotiation over.
Other negotiations run at a deeper level with higher stakes, and conflict may arise. This is ok. The goal of a negotiation cannot be to eliminate conflict. Conflict is an inevitable — and useful — part of life. The goal is to make the conflict healthy. Again, be human, do not point the conflict at the person, focus on the principle behind it.
Be prepared as you enter a negotiation that conflict may arise and be prepared for it. Do not get taken by surprise. Again, if you take the time to know the other party, and understand their goals, you should not be blind-sided if they get passionate and conflict arises.
The closer your negotiations are to a core value, the higher the likelihood for conflict.
For example: You have been in your current position for three years. You feel you have done an exceptional job. The feedback you have received in annual reviews backs it up. You tell your manager that you deserve a promotion and list out the reasons why. Your manager balks, saying that personnel budgets are tight this year and they cannot approve any salary increases. You feel your personal worth is not being recognized, this is something you are passionate about. Conflict arises. You respect the fact that your boss has a budget they are responsible for, so you don’t point your anger at them. You stand your ground and insist that you deserve this promotion. You make an ultimatum (making sure you have a BATNA firmly in place) and the conflict increases. In the end your manager recognizes your value to the organization and makes room in their budget to give you your deserved promotion. Conflict lead to a favorable result.
Be Prepared to Walk Away
In any negotiation, you must put yourself in a position where you can walk away if you are not satisfied with a proposed agreement, or if the other party gives you a “take it or leave it” offer you prefer to leave.
Again, the key here is putting yourself into a position where you can walk away. If you procrastinate or do not properly prepare for a negotiation, you may put yourself in a position where you have zero leverage. Without leverage you may become desperate and accept a less than ideal proposal. Or worse yet, you might be left high and dry, without options, if the other party decides to walk away.
Being prepared to walk away means being prepared. Your BATNA is your best friend here. If you take the time to identify your best alternative, then you are prepared to walk away from a negotiation.
Be careful not to burn bridges. If you choose to walk away, do it respectfully, leaving the door open to explore a future relationship.
Back to our Internet circuit negotiation from earlier. The rep from your current provider has given you a proposal that you are not satisfied with. You want lower monthly costs and a shorter term. You know your rep is motivated to close this deal by end of month. So you give a counter-proposal and play a little negotiation jujitsu: you go silent and wait. In the meantime you have spoken with other providers and have a good BATNA. As the end of the month approaches you reach out to your rep to see if they have any flexibility to meet your requests. They say “this is the best proposal I can offer, take it or leave it.” You decide to leave it and switch to another provider…you walk away. But you take the time to thank them for the partnership and wish them the best, leaving things on a good note.
Take The High Road
In the end your integrity is more important than winning a negotiation (except in the most desperate of cases). Keep the Golden Rule in mind as you negotiate:
“Negotiate with others as you would have them negotiate unto you.”
Remember, you can get what you want and still be decent. Whenever possible, practice quid pro quo–make sure the other side is getting something that is important to them as well.
You must preserve your reputation. If you negotiate fairly and with integrity, your reputation will remain unblemished. However, if you play hardball, or resort to unfair or over-aggressive negotiation tactics, your reputation will become blemished. You will be seen as someone who is undesirable to negotiate with, and it could kill future opportunities.
Bonus Tip (Not From The Book) — Don’t Be Afraid to Go All the Way to the Top
Ok, this negotiation tip did not come from the book Getting to Yes, but rather from an experience I recently had.
I was migrating a critical cloud service to a new provider. Due to a miscommunication, the old provider was going to terminate service before we had time to complete the migration. Despite my requests to extend service for another month to allow a successful migration, the representative from the exiting provider dug in her heels and said it was not possible.
I went to our VP of Sales to inform him of the situation and he did a bold move. He looked up the top executives on the provider’s website, found their profiles on LinkedIn, and sent them all a message explaining the need for flexibility to allow a successful transition. Within 30 minutes the rep who said it would not be possible to extend, sent me a month to month agreement.
Lesson learned. When you are not getting what you need, do not be afraid to go all the way to the top. Now, you wouldn’t want to do this at the beginning of a negotiation. But when you become stuck, and you are not getting what you need from your current negotiation partner, don’t be afraid to jump up a few levels.
So there you have it. Some tips to help you become a better negotiator. Remember, you are in negotiations all day long. Take some time to improve your negotiation skills. Learn how to do it the right way using principled negotiation techniques that can help you become a more highly-skilled and high-integrity negotiator.
“Like it or not, you are a negotiator. Negotiation is a fact of life.”
